Grayness

Clouds. Gray clouds. Low-crawling drizzling gray clouds. This best describes how I started my day. I haven't figured out if it's the weather that matches my mood, or if it's my mood that matches the weather. I'm not even sure if it matters. All I know is once I get into this mode it is nearly impossible to pull myself out.

One of the few things I can count on to lift me out of grayness is music. I have a predisposition for music probably more than most human beings. Not that I can sing or play anything like a musical instrument, but music does have the power to move me. I can feel both holy and broken, or sassy and energetic depending on what I am listening to.

My parents are responsible for that. My dad used to sing to us whenever we were in the car. Sometimes when we went on long road trips he would sing along to every country song that ever played on the radio. I'm sure it helped him kill time, especially on those extra long 8-hour minimum road trips across the border. As a little girl, I always thought he could sing "Your Cheatin Heart" better than anyone I knew, except for maybe Hank Williams himself.

My mum was more of a motown kinda girl. I remember when I was 4-years old my first favorite song was Aretha Franklin's "Chain of Fools." She used to play it over and over and over. That and "Heard it through the Grapevine." I guess it's no surprise I fell in love with my old memories again when Fantasia Barrino brought these songs back out.

But tonight it was traditional music that pulled me out of the grayness. I went out to the "Honoring our Veterans" stick game tournament. Being in the presence of these ancient songs moved me like nothing else could. The soothing effect they have on me lasts longer than the songs themselves. Although I only spent a few hours out there, I can still hear the songs in my head and feel the drums in my heart. For that I am grateful, and I will count this as a perfect way to end my day.